If life can be a metaphor, then the year my sisters and I have been through is like a hurricane; a hurricane with only the smallest of calm. We all helped our mom move from her home and into the cutest house ever. It was perfect and cheerful in every way. But it was so, so very brief. The details are too sad and too hard to share but, within a few weeks, our mom could no longer walk…no longer stay in her new home.
I am pretty sure that I will always be shaking my head about how quickly everything happened. We were so quickly back with the same Sisters and nurses that had cared for my dad. So happy and so sad to see them all again. So quickly back to group texts with my sisters trying to figure everything out.
I spent a lot of time in the evenings just sitting with my mom in her room and her small tv was always on Turner Classic Movies. The movies were slow and quiet…with no commercials. So I would leave the tv on and quiety watch. I watched “I Walked with a Zombie” on Halloween with my mom. I watched many more as my mom slipped farther away and was not really talking. One night, I was drawn into a movie. I couldn’t hear what was going on but I didn’t need to. When my sister came into the room, I told her how this guy and this girl seemed to agree to meet but the girl never made it. “It’s “An Affair to Remember”… that’s Cary Grant”, she told me. And we watched it. And when my mom’s nurse Tanesha came in at the very end of the movie, we told her wait, wait, wait. And we all sat down together. Tanesha on the end of my mom’s bed, Jennifer in my mom’s wheelchair, and me.
My sisters and I were together when we said goodbye to our mom. Crying, laughing, praying…and so quickly planning another funeraI just a few days before Christmas.
I guess we take away lots of things from our experiences. For me, I find myself watching TCM. Taking comfort in the slowness and the quiet. Still laughing with my sisters. Still sending group texts. Remembering my mom and dad.